Grandma

My paternal grandmother was a woman well worth knowing. She was someone that I admired all through my childhood. Since her death several years ago, Dad and I have visited her grave a few times (it's quite a drive for us) and he's told me many stories about her that I just love.

My grandmother lost her 1st husband (my dad's dad) when she was just 46 years old. She had one girl of 12 years old and two boys (one which was my father). My uncle was almost 6 when his dad died, but my dad was barely 3 years old. See, Grandpa had a lump in his neck. They removed it surgically, but medical technology couldn't stop the cancer from growing, so he died of lung cancer at the age of 43 years old. I often mourn the fact that I never met my paternal grandfather, but I'm told my father is much like the way he was. My dad has a sense of humor that keeps things light and easy most of the time.

Grandma had just moved to a new house right before her husband died, because the doctors told her to take him to the country, it would make his last days more comfortable. They had lived in the city before his illness. She couldn't afford that particular country home anymore, so she moved to a small farm in a very tiny community and started over.

Grandma worked 2 jobs and took two little boys aged almost 6 and almost 3 years old out to the muck fields all day and picked potatoes. All day in the hot sun, she would work digging up potatoes with two little guys in tow. She did this for pennies per bushel.

When Grandma got home she would fix dinner for her three children, then my aunt would watch the boys (my uncle and my dad) and put them to bed at night. Grandma would then be off to her second job, which was at the canning factory. She worked the graveyard shift. She worked until dawn, when she would then go back out to the muck fields. I asked Dad when she was able to sleep. He said she took a short nap in the morning upon returning from the factory before going to the muck fields to gather potatoes. He said she took another quick nap during the lunch break in the fields and probably snoozed at lunch time on her graveyard shift at the factory.

My dad told me of a story where they were so poor that he and my uncle only had 1 pair of shoes between the two of them. They didn't want to tell Grandma, because she would be upset, but a teenager can't go to school without shoes. So, Uncle would go out in the kitchen, kiss his mother good-bye and 'leave' for school. Then, he'd run around the house, climb in the bedroom window, give the shoes to Dad, who would then proceed to go out in the kitchen, kiss his mother good-bye, then go to school. Uncle would stay in the bedroom until Grandma went to work, so she wouldn't know he hadn't gone to school. The next morning, Dad would be the one to climb in through the bedroom window and stay home from school next day, whereas Uncle would wear the shoes and attend school. This went one for a little bit, then the school called home and explained to Grandma that the two boys were missing a lot of school and both were never in school the same day. Well, she sat them down and they told her what they were doing. Dad said she scraped the barrel somehow and got another pair of shoes.

A few years later when my father was still a teenager, Grandma met Harry (my step-grandfather). Harry was a great man. He couldn't read very well. He only went through the 2nd grade in school as he had to quit schooling at that time to work in the fields on his family's farm to make ends meet. You would never know that about Harry, because he could read well enough to get by, but one day I heard him spelling words from the newspaper to Grandma and she would pronounce them for him. She said once he spelled a word and she told him what it was, he would never forget that word ever again. She was very proud of him.

Harry was a horse trader. He was in the horse business. He always had some sleek, beautiful, strong steed standing in his barn. He knew good horse flesh and that's how he and Grandma survived and lived quite well for years. Grandma was also always dabbling in real estate. She could take a house that looked like a dump and turn it into a palace. I saw her do it a few times when she was in her late 80's and she was very good at it.

Another skill Grandma had perfected was dressmaking or sewing. She could take anything and make it into something. I remember one time we went to Macy's and she saw the cutest little dress on the rack just my size. She asked me if I liked it. My eyes were as big as saucers as I said, "Of course, I love it." She said she'd make that dress for me. Off we went to the fabric store. I don't know how she did it, but she found the exact fabrics that were in this dress right there in the fabric store. We went back to her house and within a few hours she was calling me into her bedroom where here sewing machine was and said, "Try it on, honey." WOW! It was an exact replica of the dress I saw in Macy's. The only difference was this particular dress only cost a few dollars whereas the one in Macy's was a whopping $35. I know $35 doesn't sound like a lot nowadays, but back in 1968....it was a lot! Believe me, it was a fortune for a little girl's dress.

My Grandmother could rebound from almost anything that came her way. When she was 79 years old and visiting Florida, her home here in NY burnt to the ground. She came home, hired most of the work out and rebuilt her home. Most people at 79 years old would have just moved out for good, not Grandma. That had been her home for 30 plus years, she wasn't going anywhere.

She could take a few scraps out of the fridge and whip up a glorious dinner in no time flat. She had a garden and tended it until she was 86 years old when she broke her hip. Now breaking a hip at any age is a trying thing, but when she got out of the hospital, I went to stay with her for a few weeks to help her out. I came home after 2 weeks (it was summer vacation time) and I told my dad she didn't need my help. She was fine. She was up doing laundry, cooking, cleaning and everything within a few weeks. She was one determined lady.

Unfortunately, she got a horrible infection in her hip a few months later and she was never able to take care of all the things she had before. She lived in her home for another 3 years. My dad and uncle took turns spending each night with her and Harry. Harry died at the ripe old age of 91 years old. Grandma lived to 40 days shy of her 100th birthday.

In later years, she started to have dementia and she never could quite remember who anyone was. It was sad going to see this vibrant woman confined to a wheelchair and bed most of the time. But, I do remember right after we came back from living in CA, I went to visit her. She was sitting outside her room in her wheelchair and she didn't seem to recognize my dad or myself. I leaned over, gave her a kiss and said, "I love you, Grandma. I brought my son, Bryce to see you." She looked me right straight in the eye and said, "Laurie, I love you, too. AND I love that name Bryce."

I miss her dearly, even though she's been gone almost 15 years now. But I do remember the grand woman that she was.

I love you, Grandma!