I've had homeschooling mothers accuse me of letting someone else teach my child the things that I, as his parent, should be. I had a homeschooling mother accuse me of not doing enough for my child, because I allowed him to attend college in a distant location. She told me that teaching my child Biblical values, keeping the door of communication open with him, and praying for him was not enough! She, basically, stated that I needed to 'shield' him exclusively from the worldly evil that I've thrust him into by allowing him to go to college and that I was "throwing him to the wolves."
Truthfully, I responded to this person, that I felt a bit attacked by her, when I'm not so sure that she intended it that way, but that is the way in which I perceived it. I also told her that my son being 2 months shy of 19 years old had experienced a lifetime (of almost 19 years) steeped in Christian values and support and LEARNING from his father and I. So, at almost 19 years old, I really feel my son is considered an adult. I have to respect the fact that he's probably not always going to do exactly what I want him to, but I do trust in the Lord and my son trusts in the Lord.
My son believes that Jesus Christ is his Savior and died on the cross for his sins. My son believes that he will live in all eternity with the Father in His heavenly abode. My son is saved. Halleleuiah! Praise be to God!
The reason that I state this is, as Christians, isn't that the whole reason for our existence? Isn't glorifying our Lord the most precious thing that we, as Christians, stand for? Isn't that the purpose that God had when He created man, to praise our heavenly Father?
The reason I stated those questions is because, personally, I think squabbling over whether one should or shouldn't homeschool OR whether so and so is saved or not OR proving that I'm right and you're wrong is pure dribble. Let me repeat myself there, these arguments are purely and simply NOT glorifying our Lord!
But here I am blogging about such a topic! The reason being is that I want everyone to know how I feel, then I'm going to try to be done with it. Please don't accuse me of being less of a parent than I need to be. Please don't tell me I'm not doing enough! If I'm not, then believe me, I truly have faith that God will show me these things!
Personally, when I visit blogs or message boards and there is a post about homeschool vs. public school, I usually do one of two things. I either make no response or I make a very limited response. Limited responses are due to the fact that I'm usually making a comment on someone's blog and I don't always have the time or the patience to thoroughly express my views. No response is usually because these things can be become very heated and I don't always like the heat!
After all, if we are Christian, then we shouldn't look to be oppositional and argumentative about such things. This does not mean that I have a problem with someone who states their views on why they homeschool or why they send their children to public school. I like to know people's views and I like to know why they feel the way they do. I, oftentimes, can learn things from this kind of exchange.
It's when things become heated in the sense that one person starts to accuse another of 'throwing their children to the wolves' for allowing them public schooling or another states that only the 'legalist will take the Biblical stand point of homeschooling' and such that upsets me.
Here you go, this is my opinion for all time's sake.
Do I think every single person on the face of the planet should homeschool? Absolutely not!
On the other hand, do I think every single person on the face of the planet should send their child to public school? Absolutely not!
From my response, you can tell that I don't feel that homeschooling is for everyone nor do I feel that public school is for everyone.
I perused a few Biblical resources recently to try to come up with the reasoning behind homeschooling.
Here is a few of the Scriptures quoted in defense of homeschooling:
Psalm 127: 1 - 3
"Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh [but] in vain.
[It is] vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: [for] so he giveth his beloved sleep.
Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward."
and
Ephesians 6:4
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
and
Romans 12:2
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
and
Proverbs 22:6
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Okay, for me (not for everyone, but just me and my family), my husband and I have had my son under our tutelage for 18 years. We have taken upon us to teach and educate my son about the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior. We didn't send him to public school to learn about those things. We, through the help and support of our church, have educated our son about God.
He has a beautiful, wonderful 'church mom' who has guided, helped and supported him through the years. She just happens to be a woman who attends our church and has taken a deep interest in my son. She's a lovely Christian lady, whose children have grown up and moved out of the area and she adores my son and he adores her.
My son has been told by a long standing Christian man within our church family that he loves when Bryce comes home from college and attends church with us. He said that it's almost like our very own mini-celebrity returning home. The man explained that because my son was an outstanding athlete (his words not mine) and all around good student, that his peers look up to him. Believe me when I tell you that I have two or three copy paper boxes full of newspaper articles about his High School athletics career.
Half the adult church community can't wait to wedge their way over to Bryce after church services to get a hug, a handshake or a kiss. It usually takes at least a half hour after church services to make our way back to the car and return home. The long standing Christian man that I mentioned earlier stated that Bryce is the most humble, God-loving teenager that he's seen in many a years.
Now, I ask you, do you think that my husband and I have neglected to teach my child Christian values and beliefs, because we sent him to public school?
My son told me they were having a huge Halloween bash off campus on Halloween night. He told me he had no problems explaining to his dormmates the reason that he didn't want to attend was because he felt it was glorifying demons. I've never been one to forbid Halloween celebrations, because I think it is what you make of it. Just like Christmas...it is what you make of it. It can either be a commercial time of stress and frustration or it can be a time of opportunity to express our love for Christ. This conclusion of demon worshipping is his own conclusion.
So, I ask you again, do you think that my husband and I have neglected to teach my child Christian values and beliefs, because we sent him to public school?
The reason that I stated these examples of my son's Christian life is because I think they are a sample of the kind of life he leads. He isn't this type of teenager, because we sent him to public school. He's this type of person, because his father and I instilled upon him the love of our Lord. We taught our son what we believed!
Now, in a perfect world, I truly believe that homeschooling is a super duper idea. I think it's also a pretty super duper idea for some in an imperfect world, too. I think that the one to one attention that a person gives their child through homeschooling is something that cannot be duplicated through the public school system, nor was the public school system meant to be that way.
I also strongly believe that some people are not adequately equipped to homeschool their child. Since I work in a school district, I have seen parents who have the cognitive level slightly higher than a mentally retarded person (boy, I hate that term) homeschool their children. See, the technical term is truly 'mentally retarded'. Ask me how I know? I work in the special educaton department at my school. Clinically, they haven't come up with a better term, so it's the term I use. I hope I haven't offended anyone by using it. The parents whose cognitive level reaches slightly higher than the mentally retarded, who choose to homeschool their children, have always turned to the school district a few years down the road and screamed, "Help!" I really, literally, mean that.
If you have a problem solving simple one digit multiplication problems, believe me, you can't teach your child the algebra, geometry or trigonomitry that is required for a diploma or the GED test given in NY State (which is where I reside).
A person who has a rough time filling out a job application (due to learning disabilities in reading) are definitely not going to be able to help their child with DBQ's (Data Based Questions) or CRQ's (Critical Reasoning Questions).
Now, does that mean all well-meaning parents shouldn't homeschool? Absolutely not! The average number of cognitively disabled school age children is around 10%, so on average I believe that would be the ball park figure for cognitively disabled adults. So, personally, I feel about 10% of the population should probably not homeschool their children due to the inability to do so successfully.
Secondly, if one can say, okay, there's the exception, then couldn't there possibly be other exceptions? Such as, a parent who has physical and mental disabilites. Or how 'bout the single mom who can't stay home and homeschool her children, because she has to work 3 1/2 jobs to support said children? Or perhaps financially the parent cannot afford the expensive curriculums that are available to homeschoolers? Or they can't afford a computer to access the many 'free' curriculum ideals on the web?
So...that's why I feel that not everyone can or should homeschool. I think not everyone should or can send their child to public school. It's a personal choice, in my opinion!
P.S. To the dear sweet, Christian lady who accused me of 'throwing my son to the wolves.' You told me that you didn't want your child to attend university, because you had always shielded your child from the uglies and the evils of the world. I leave you with this observation: I didn't necessarily 'shield' my son from the evils of the world, because I knew one day when he was an adult, he would have to go out into that world and try his best to be a supportive part of society. I didn't go out and look for the uglies or the evil of the world for him to experience, either. I taught him through God's word how to deal with the world.
See, dear C-, I don't think you can put children in a box any more than you can put God in a box. Sometimes boxes leak or tear open. I don't think everyone's box is the same size either. But, I do believe that God has equiped us with His word to triumphantly conquer the world through Jesus Christ.
Amen!
