Through the years, I've found that we all have different standards of being frugal. What may seem extreme for one person, might not be for another person.
For example, I found an old cyber-friend recently, through her blog, and she was discussing leftovers here. She was describing her leftover meal in a phone conversation with someone that went from bad to worse, because the person couldn't deal with eating leftovers.
Now to me, that just seems like foolishness, but I'm sure I do things in the realm of frugality that totally stump people too, because they think it's too much. Yet, there are some things that I consider too much for even me.
For example, I don't re-wash sandwich bags. It's time consuming, and I don't like the clutter of a clothesline full of sandwich bags hanging in my kitchen. But I do wash and reuse the larger and sturdier zip-loc bags.
Also, I'm not one to take two-ply toilet paper, undo, and re-roll it into two rolls of paper. Nah, my time is worth more to me than that, but I have heard of people who do it.
Toilet Paper Boy
I've also heard of people who don't use the traditional 'paper' toilet paper. They use rags for toilet paper, then wash and re-use. Uh, uh, nope, sorry, I just can't bring myself to do that either.
Now, I'm not picking on people who do. I just couldn't possibly do that. I would be constantly thinking about the e-coli and, heaven knows what else, that was lurking on that toilet rag.
I think everyone's financial condition really dictates what they will do or not do when it comes to saving money.
So...share with me....what do you consider to be too much frugality?
Share something that you think is either too much grossness, or too much time, or not enough savings for you to try.
11 comments:
When your family starts to suffer--you are being too frugal. Examples would be: when your kids are embarrassed by their clothing because it's old, tattered, overly patched, or so out of date that they would rather be sick for the rest of their lives than wear it. When you or your kids get sick from eating food that's outdated just to keep from throwing it away. When you make your kids walk to school in horrible weather or ride the bus with a driver who shouldn't be driving for one reason or another, because you're too "frugal" to start the car to take them. Or let your kids be tardy when you could have driven them and had them be on time. (This only applies if it was YOUR fault they were getting around late.)
I also think you're being too frugal if you take leftovers (especially if they've been too long leftover) to a pot luck.
If you can afford it, there is no reason to make others suffer so that you can "put back for a rainy day." There is decent money management and frugality that works and then there is making others suffer because you are a "tightwad."
Sorry, nothing too time comsuming or gross--just what I've seen in my area.
WOW! Ehart, some of those things would have never crossed my mind.
I would never dream of feeding my family something that was questionable. If I 'forgot' something that got pushed into the back of the fridge, I'd rather throw it out than have someone become sick from eating it! Yuck!
Also, I would never feel comfortable taking leftovers to a pot luck. In fact, I always want to make something 'showy' for pot lucks so people might think I'm a good cook! LOL!
Really, you don't think cloth butt rags are gross? I certainly do! LOL!
Hi Laurie-
Yes butt rags are digusting. My husband has this saying about food in the fridge. "When in doubt-throw it out." I live by that. That means the milk (most definitly) and the hamburger that we eat. We mainly eat hamburger and chicken. We only buy what is on sale. So yes we are very frugal. It was so nice to read your blog. Thank you, Roxi
Roxi, thank you for visiting! We eat whatever is on sale, too.
I agree with your husband, "when in doubt-throw it out."
I checked out your blog and saw your husband's etsy shop....WOW! I love those crosses! They look great! I just might have to order one for my son.
Well, yes, the cloth butt rags are gross. I also think cloth menstrual pads and especially the cloth reusable tampons are gross as well but I suppose they are no grosser (is that a word?) than cloth diapers depending on how they have been washed. Also it wasn't that long ago when that's all anyone had. Although I've known my dad to use magazines and newspapers.
But again, I think that falls under making someone suffer. Using cloth that's not properly washed and someone gets sick is no different in a way than food that's questionable and could make someone sick.
I only mentioned the pot luck as an example. I'm the "chairman" of what's known as White Cross for my church and an association of churches in my area. White Cross is the American Baptist version of Red Cross and supplies clothing, bandages, school supplies, etc to churches and community centers.
One of the repeated requests is for everything we donate to be "new" and not even "lightly used" for the simple reason that some people have a different view of "lightly used" than others. My pastor's wife cites the example she personally saw in another state of a woman who thought nothing of sending used tea bags to White Cross sites. She re-used her tea bags at home so she figured as long as she dried them well, they would be of use to others.
As you said, one person's frugality is another person's grossness.
At a previous church, one woman wouldn't attend any of the church dinners because she had been inside some of the other ladies' kitchens. She told me she didn't expect a sterile environment but she did expect clean.
At a preschool I worked at, we had a child bring in the pre-packaged Rice Krispie treats for snack one day. They had evidence of mice and we had to throw a lot of them out and wash the other packages. This child had nothing and was thrilled to be able to provide snacks for his classmates or we would have tossed them all. Another time his aunt made a cake and sent it. She had spent several months battling gangrene in a leg from basic unsanitary conditions. We adults looked at the owner and she said, "we're going to pray and serve it and give it over to God." And by God's grace, no one got sick.
As my father and husband have always said, "poor people have poor ways."
Used tea bags? Wow!
I really don't think my frugalness would ever take me to the point where I would make anyone sick....
You know, this makes me think....A lot of our frugalness in my family is not really due to necessity. We could probably afford all those things that other spend wildly on, but we just choose not to. We have a tendency to fall under the 'selective frugalite'.
My mama was always a clean freak (I'm sure that's where I get some of it from.) I'm not as bad about clean as she is, but I do know the basics about sanitation in the home.....I wonder if some of these folks you've mentioned were just never 'taught' cleanliness??
Possibly not taught. Or, perhaps, just come from a "subculture" which looks at things differently. Or perhaps, in the long run, they figure they aren't sick, so why should what they do sicken anyone else.
Probably many people are selectively frugal. Others are frugal out of necessity. We've all heard of people who used the excuse they "couldn't afford" to do something then they died and left a million dollars. They may have been "emotionally frugal" by which I mean that while they had the money and knew they had the money, they just couldn't bring themselves to spend it on some things.
But then, if they or others are not suffering because of that "emotional frugality," does it really matter that they died with a million instead of taking cruises? In their minds, they were keeping that money for the nursing home for the 20 years they didn't live. Had they lived and needed that money for the nursing home, they would have died broke.
Frugality, in any form, is a mindset. I guess that's why I'm not so much caught up on "grossness" as I am on when others suffer. Throwing out food because you don't want to eat leftovers is wasteful--but if you can afford it, and no one in your neighborhood is starving (ah, but there's a hook), are you making others suffer because of your wastefulness? Perhaps.
Then again, if you are starving and all you have is something that is "past date," would it be a bigger crime to eat it or to throw it out? Here I'm thinking of the mother who is on food stamps or whatever her state has and the only bread in the house is slightly moldy (a couple of spots only) but there will be no money for food for two more days. Does she pick the mold off and feed her children or does she throw the bread away?
Just something to think about, going along with your thought about being selectively frugal.
Oh, yes, I'm sure there are people who are not as fortunate as myself that cannot be selective about their frugality. It's more of a matter of necessity.
The example you gave is a good one. A single mom who may not be able to afford to really throw that moldy loaf of bread away....
I think people buy into the mentality that families can't make it on one income, or they need to work 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet.
Now, I realize that there are truly some who do NEED both adults working OR they do NEED to work 2 to 3 jobs, because each working person in the family doesn't have the potential of making enough money for the family to survive...but I also think some people buy into that idea too quickly once they've heard it.
For example, I was a stay at home mom for years. I can't tell you how many people told me in the latter years of being a SAHM, "You need to go to work....it's not fair that you sit home all day and do nothing while your husband's off working all day."
OR
"You need to go to work, because families can't make it on one income anymore."
I used to kind of get peeved sometimes, because my husband had a very good paying job with great benefits. I wanted to stay home, because I wanted my son to be nurtured and cared for by me, not someone else. And believe me, I just didn't sit home all day and do nothing. Throughout those years, I learned a lot of great strategies to make that one income stretch to the point where we never felt in need.
So, when SOME (I stress SOME) people tell me that they can't afford to quit their jobs, I sometimes wonder if they just aren't buying into that whole mentality.
Usually, I find the person likes what they are working at and they just don't want to admit it to themselves or others that they work for the enjoyment of their work vs. raising their children.
See, back almost 20 years ago, when I was that SAHM, I think women felt like they had to have a pretty darn good reason to work outside the home. Whereas, ironically, today, women who choose to stay home are sometimes looked down upon. Back then, more and more women were working, but they were still judged.
Personally, I think women can work and still effectively nurture their children. But there was a time, when people didn't think it could be....
I know for myself, it was better to cut expenses where I could (within reason - so I wasn't feeding my family rotten food), and stay home with my son.
So......what was all that blather I just threw out there??
Basically, I think the majority (not all) of people can be selective about their frugalness to a certain degree.
Although with the way the economy has been recently, people might think a little harder about their selectivity.
I think you're right about most of us being selective in what we are frugal about. And I also think it will get tighter with the economy.
I know a lot of women work for a lot of reasons--some honestly are mentally healthier when they are out and involved with other adults. Some are happier to be able to afford some niceities for their home rather than trying to make their husband's paycheck stretch to pay for new curtains for the living room for example.
I think a lot of women are "bullied" into working when they don't need to. The woman who was my best friend in high school has six children--now mostly grown--she said when people asked her how she could manage on only her husband's income, she would look at them and exclaim "work? Are you kidding??? I'd have to be making GOLD to afford daycare!!" Then, of course they would make some off color remark about her having so many kids to which she would inquire which ones they would like her kill......
Okay, back to the original thought of frugality--I usually buy store brands because I don't like to pay for advertising when I can get the same quality for less. Although there are products I will pay more for simply because they work best for me and my lifestyle.
Wow, what a nice conversation y'all have had and I missed it! I agree, too far is when you risk your family's well being, whether that's physical well being or mental well being. Amy D (of Tightwad Gazette fame) went too far in some things for my taste. Of course, the things Amy and her family did paid off big time and it worked for them but I just don't think some of her ideas would work for me. But I'm sure I go too far for some others - like the friend who can't grasp leftovers. Come on, they're not that unusual! ;)
On a lovely side note, my oldest son, the one who married 5 months ago, is finally coming to terms with finances! Woooo! I'm so happy! He and his bride have gotten their credit reports and come up with a plan to get rid of debt. We've discussed his debt, he downloaded "You need a budget" and he even talks to me about frugal grocery shopping. How is that for great? :) I can't tell you how thrilled I am about this! Now, to get him hooked on blogs about frugality. ha!
I know I couldn't quite grasp the idea of NOT using leftovers! LOL!
I'm happy your son is jumping on the frugal wagon! Bryce is only 19 and learning things here and there.
He's careful in some respects with his money and he's careless in other ways! But he is learning!
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